Adjusting with Comfort
Overall, it seems Dad is adjusting well and becoming more comfortable. He is able to find his room on his own, which is an improvement following the change to his permanent room last week. I have a picture from his childhood and a couple from more recent years hanging near his door. Dad is requiring meds occasionally to keep him calm and less "exit seeking". I have found his bags packed a few days, although I have not seen him trying to push open the doors. He hasn't seemed upset during our visits. He does sometimes ask about why he is in this community and what the plans are. I know he wants to go home. I know he wants to see my mom. However, I am thankful he is in a safe place where he can receive good care. And I do feel he is receiving good care. Dad seems satisfied as we talk about his Alzheimer's and how that affects his memory. Of course, some days are better than others for his understanding, but he really has seemed comfortable with my answers. He seems comfortable with the plan to stay so that he can receive care and get help to keep his mind as clear and healthy as possible. I reassure him that I am working diligently to care for Mom and move her to this same community. I've heard him calmly explain his absence to my mom on the phone as well. Recently he has walked me to the exit doors or sat eating his ice cream near the doors as I leave. He's pleasant to wave good-bye and seems confident and thankful when I tell him I will visit the next day. Thankfully, I have been able to visit Dad daily. He has called Mom almost every day, which I feel is helpful to both of them.
Dad complements this community on the meals. I have visited during several meals and they look "way fancy" and heathy too. Dessert is offered with lunch and supper. I have ice cream drumsticks stocked in the freezer for Dad. He has yet to turn down a drumstick! One of the staff has commented that my dad has told her how well I'm handling his care and taking on this responsibility. That means the world to me, especially on the hard days when I feel like I can't get anything accomplished for my mom. Dad told me yesterday that the staff all seem to know his name. He said sometimes he smiles and asks them "do I know you?" I've met many of the staff and they all know who I'm there to see. They give me bits of updates as we meet in the hall. The president has been such a support and encouragement. In fact, she stopped me yesterday to tell me that Dad came out a few nights ago (close to midnight) asking how long the ladies were there. She explained that someone is awake and available all night. He confirmed that if he has a bad dream that someone will be there. I have a feeling he was just joking with them (he still has his sense of humor), but it's nice to see that he's comfortable to interact with them and seems comfortable with the situation. Funny thing, the president also told me that they've seen him jogging down the hall. She said she called him out and asking him to slow down! The only complaint I've heard from Dad so far is that it is too quiet, especially after lunch. He asked for a radio and that should arrive today. I encourage him to sit at his desk as it's familiar and he still has tons of things in the drawers to organize. He has notepads galore to write notes for himself or letters to Mom. He is not interested in watching tv, but it's available too.
My mom remains adamant that she will not leave her home in Conway. I have offered multiple times to come pick her up and bring her to Texas to visit Dad. She is often confused asking whether he's coming home tomorrow or who has gone to pick him up from Texas. I continue to work daily on making contacts and following legal steps to care for Mom as well. The challenges are still present, but I'm pressing on with the support of family and friends to make sure my mom too receives the excellent care that she deserves!
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